Life On The Island- Oneshot Series
by N3st-Al
Summary: A series of oneshots taking place on Monster Island. Some are happy, some are sad...and some are so random, not even the Kaijus themselves know what's going on!
1. Fireflies (NES)

Fireflies

 **A/N: *Sleeping***

 **Aqua: CRYSTAL!**

 **AGH! *Wakes up* Oh, hi everybody!**

 **Solar: It's 11 at night, and we should be asleep, but whatever, let's write a story, why don't we? *Glares at Crystal***

 **Look, I'll upload this and we'll go to bed, okay? (Sigh) Anyway, this is something that popped into my head while reading fanfiction, so I wrote this...yay.**

 **Summer: It's in the NES Godzilla universe, and it has to do with Solomon. *Sighs and looks at Solomon's "still the best" picture* Yes, you are still the best 1973...**

 **Aqua: Summer!**

 **Summer: Sorry...**

 **Quick note, this is actually going to be a oneshot series...some in the NES universe, some not. You can also make requests, if you want!**

 **Solar: *Yawns* I'm going to sleep...**

 **Anyway...**

 **All: Enjoy! :D**

Solomon sighed, tossing and turning. The clock read 1:00 AM, and he didn't get a single wink of sleep.

No, not because of RED. That guy was sunshine and rainbows compared to other stuff he saw...

It was said "other stuff".

Mothra told him about what she saw when they were separated. It was absolutely horrifying, and now he was starting to see it in his mind. Like RED was still out there, sending image after image in his ghostly state, haunting him...

He shivered. The thought of those deer guys freezing to death in the cold, with those raptors just...doing what they do, it's like it's _trying_ to keep him awake.

Solomon eventually gave up trying to sleep. It was no use, he hasn't even yawned _once_. The bat creature, instead, went out into the cool night.

The sky was clear, and filled with those tiny white glowing dots...what did Mothra call them? "Stars"? He never saw them in the sky when he was young...then again, the sky wasn't black either, nor blue, and it didn't have any of those weird yet intriguing details. In other words, the sky in itself was something he needed to get used to.

But something felt off. The stars were only in the sky, right?

 _Then explain why there were yellow ones all around him_.

"What the—Get away from me you...whatever you things are!" Solomon yelled, backing away from the crowd.

Wait a minute...

Those weren't stars.

No, they were a species...what were they called? Fire...flies? Fireflies?

Yeah, that was it. Speaking of fireflies, they seemed to be turning into transparent deer creature.

Wait, "deer creature"?

All of this really reminds him of...

He gasped. "Wait, are you...those deer guys from the forest?! The one that froze over and all that?!"

One deer walked over to him and nodded.

"I...whoa, uh...j-just so you know, I'm totally not trying to do anything that will negatively affect the stuff going on here...I..."

The deer held up a hoof.

 _It's okay, we know._

Hold up...was that telepathy?!  
"What the heck..."

 _You killed the monster. And you helped free The Golden Light. You are a hero._

The deer lowered its head, like it was bowing or something.

"I..." Solomon was at a loss for words. He was called a _hero_. He always thought he was far from a hero, since the only time he did something worthy was fighting RED...and getting squashed by him.

Ugh, there goes forgetting that.

 _And by killing the monster, you have freed us._

"Say what?" Solomon snapped out of his thoughts when the deer said that. "Freed you?"

 _Yes...we were trapped in an unforgiving cold because of the monster...and now the monster is gone._

"Unforgiving cold".

Weird. Whenever Solomon thought of the deer freezing in the woods, those words seemed to echo through his head...but he never paid attention to them until now.

"Well...I..." He struggled to find something, anything to say. He wasn't a guy of words, that's for sure, but he should at least say _something_ to these guys.

 _So before we move on to the afterlife...we want to thank you and your friends for saving us all._

His eyes widened. Thank him? For doing what they claimed he did? Are they talking to the wrong guy? Do they think he's Acacius or something like that?

"I..." Solomon gave an awkward smile. "No problem. We're all glad you're at peace."

 _We have to go...we must move on...but we will meet again..._

"Meet again?" Solomon chuckled. "Well, I don't know if I'll be going where you're going..."

 _You are a hero, Melissa will send you to the land of peace...we will meet again. Until then, goodbye, and thank you all._

"I..." Solomon swallowed a lump in his throat. "Alright then..." He could honestly feel a tear slipping from his eye as one by one, the deer creatures began to disappear. The one in front of him gave one more nod, before becoming some gold powder and flying off into the night.

"Goodbye..." He whispered, as he held back more tears.

That was just...wow. He never really thought that would happen. That deer said he saved them...that he was a hero. It said that he would go to "the land of peace" all because he fought RED. Up until now, he thought that he should've done more to help instead of stand by until the last second.

But now...he felt like some huge burden was lifted off his shoulders when the deer thanked him. For whatever reason, he didn't feel as haunted as he did by the scenes of deers freezing, raptors fighting, the cold numbing every part of anyone who dares enter...

All because the innocent creatures tortured by RED are at peace. They can rest at last, because he and his friends had defeated said beast who haunted them.

"They're right, you know..."

Solomon sharply turned...and saw Mothra, smiling, eyes filled with tears. It was the sight of her that broke whatever dam was holding back _his_. After their quest to stop RED from doing his evil stuff, he always hated seeing the moth cry. Especially when her reasons for crying before were...well...as he said, haunting.

"I get it you think you're not that much of good guy, especially after...you know..." The moth looked down for a moment, before turning her head back up. "But honestly, you freed a bunch of innocent species that day, and we all played a part in killing RED once and for all...I don't care what you think, you are _not_ a bad guy."

Solomon gasped as he felt something dive into him, nearly making him fall to the ground.

Oh, wait...that was Mothra.

Mothra wrapped her wings around him, his chest getting wet with her tears. Solomon sighed, and wrapped his own wings around the moth.

The two embraced in the night, and if they...well, if anyone were to look up right now, they would see fireflies, floating higher into the sky, seeming to disappear into one bright, shining star.

 **Winter: I'm gonna cry myself to sleep tonight...**

 **I got to admit, this is the most emotional thing I wrote in a long time...not even joking.**

 **Aqua: I'm...gonna have to read the original story...I don't understand too much.**

 **You didn't read the story yet?**

 **Aqua: No, I'm into long stories.**

 **Here's a summary then. *Hands out summary***

 **Aqua: Thanks! :D**

 **No prob. Anyway, please review!**

 **Summer: And no flaming!**

 ***Solar's tail catches on fire***

 **Solar: *Wakes up* AGH!**

 **All: See ya!**


	2. The Holidays Are Crazy!

The Holidays Are Crazy!

 **A/N: Hey, guys! Merry Christmas! :D**

 **Aqua: Hope everything was awesome those two jolly days! :3**

 **Solar: This chapter isn't jolly. -_- Especially the part about Rodan-**

 **SOLAR. We must not spoil anything!**

 **Solar: Well, people were going to stop reading anyway when they saw the Rodan and Anguirus part of this!**

 **SOLAR!  
**

 **Summer: Wait, they're shipped in this?**

 **NO!**

 **Solar: Yes.**

 **GYAH!** ***Sigh* Anyway, I just wanted to say that instead of Moll and Lora, we're going to be using the Shobijin that appear in Final Wars. With temporary names. Probably the crappiest names I could give them, but still names.**

 **Winter: REPLY TIME! In reply to GojiFan54: Thanks! :3 Hope this one's just as awesome!**

 **All: Enjoy! =D**

 _Mothra stared in absolute horror as pink fluffy unicorns danced on rainbows._

" _WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?!"_

" _MOTHRA!" The unicorns kept yelling._

" _GYAAAH!"_

" _MOTHRA! MOTHRA!"_

 **LE BARRIER**

"MOTHRA!"

"AH!" The moth woke up and started flying in place. "GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU PINK FLUFFY THINGS!"

"I was just waking you up...and for the record, I'm not pink. Nor fluffy."

Mothra looked down. One of the Sisters were standing there, arms crossed, a look of annoyance on her face.

Mothra nervously chuckled. "Heh...sorry, Belle. I was dreaming of something rather...horrifying."

"What?"

"It's not important. Anywho, why'd you wake me up? Did Battra eat part of a mountain again?"

"No!" Belle's wide smile returned. "It snowed outside! It's BEAUTIFUL!"

Mothra blinked. "Snow? At Infant Island? I doubt it."

"Come on! I'll show you!" Taking Mothra's hand (are they even hands? I dunno, I'll just use that word...), Belle lead the moth outside. The ground was indeed covered in snow, and the other Sister was attempting to shovel the snow with a piece of bark.

Mothra sighed. "Liz, that snow's just going to return. Best leave it there."

"B-b-but how are w-we supposed to—" She was cut off when a bunch of snowballs practically pinned her to the ground. "AGH!"

At the sound of laughter, Mothra and Belle looked up...only to see Rodan and Anguirus, laughing their heads off, with a pile of snowballs beside them.

Mothra growled. "RODAN! ANGUIRUS!"

The two Kaijus looked at her, and their laughter abruptly stopped, and their eyes widened.

"Uh..." Anguirus awkwardly waved. "Hey...uh...we were just...making snowballs for...survival!" He nudged Rodan.

Rodan nodded. "Y-yeah...survival! When the storms hit!"

"STORMS?!" Liz stood up, angrily brushing the snow off her dress. "I DID _NOT_ SIGN UP FOR THIS!"

"Neither did we," Anguirus shrugged. "But there'll be one. There always is. But hey!" He put an arm around Rodan. "At least we all got each other to keep us safe, right?"

"R-right...uh..." Rodan blushed and tried to pull away. "H-hey...I should get more snow...for snowballs!"

"Great idea, actually!" Liz picked up her "shovel". "That would help greatly! This snow needs to go!"

Mothra sighed. "It won't go for another three months."

"THREE MONTHS— That's it, I'm done!" Liz threw down the shovel and walked back in the...mountain...house...thingy...whatever, I didn't look much into their home yet. I'll call it home for now.

"And I'll get the snow!" Rodan flew away.

"Ooh! I'll get some too!" Belle ran after him.

"Uh..." Anguirus shuffled a bit. "That was...awkward..."

Mothra nodded. "Indeed."

 **LE BARRIER AGAIN**

"Please?!"

"No."

"PLEASE?!"

"No."

" _PLEEEE—_ "

"FINE," Liz pinched the bridge of her nose. "But where the heck are we gonna put it?!"

"I dunno!" Belle shrugged. "We have a lot of space, so..."

"Yeah..."

Belle gasped. "We should go to Monster Island! There must be great trees there!"

"WHAT?!"

At Monster Island, all the trees had magically poofed into pine trees. Yeah, I'm confused too...

"They're so beautiful!" If physics didn't exist, Belle's eyes would be stars right now. She was that amazed.

"They're...nice..." Liz shrugged, a little uneasy. She'd never really been on this island before. And plus there were Kaijus on this island. So that wasn't helping.

"Hello?"

"AH!" Liz hid behind a tree. Belle looked around.

"Who's there?" She asked.

"Just me," Rodan flew down from a tree. "What's up?"

"Belle here insisted we get one of those trees you decorate and all that," Liz rubbed her forehead as she walked out from behind the tree. "So here we are."

"Well, don't look here!" Rodan poked one of the trees. "These old things are nothing. I'll show you guys a way better place."

 **ANOTHER LE BARRIER**

In a winter-y forest, one single tree stood in the middle of the clearing, with Libra herself shining down upon it.

"This is it!" Rodan grinned. "The best tree in Kaiju history!"

Liz nodded. "It's definitely beautiful, and Mothra Libra herself is making it shine, so it must be somewhat important to the plot."

"So," Belle turned to Rodan. "Do we have anything to take it out of the ground with?"

Rodan's smile dropped, and his eyes widened. "Oh gosh..."

Thankfully, they managed to pull it out of the ground...it wasn't easy, though. At least there were no roots stuck to it...

"So where _should_ we put it?" Liz looked around.

"How about the middle?" Belle shrugged. "It makes sense..."

"Yeah, but that's where we stand when we're singing a musical...What about the corner?"

"Eh, I guess..."

Just then, a gust of wind nearly blew them off the ground.

"I'M NOT LATE RIGHT?!"

The duo turned around and saw Mothra Leo, a look of panic on his face.

"Hi Leo!" Belle waved. "You're not late at all!"

"Thank Libra," Leo sighed in relief. "Time zones got me paranoid...Where's Mom?"

"She's at Monster Island, decorating with the others," Liz answered. "Why?"

"I just thought she was here at usual," Leo shrugged. "So, you got a tree too?"

"Yeah," Belle grinned. "The others were pretty, too, but Mothra Libra herself was shining down upon it! Amazing, right?!"

"I bet it was," Mothra said, flying in, but stopped when she saw Leo. "Sweet Libra..."

"Say what—" Leo's expression turned ecstatic when he saw her. "MOM!"

"Leo!" Mothra pulled her son in an embrace. "Oh my gosh, I didn't think you'd be here!"

"Y-Yeah, Mom," Leo blushed. "There are two people in front of us right now...Mom...You can let go of me now...MOM."

 **AGAIN, LE BARRIER**

"I'd say this looks good," Anguirus nodded at the decorated house.

"Same," Rodan grinned. He tilted his head at something lying on the floor. "What the heck is that?"

"What's what?" Anguirus asked as Rodan picked up the object, which looked like it was made of leaves and all that stuff...with a string on top of it.

"It looks like a pile of leaves stuck together or something..." Rodan accidently held the object above the two...this'll end well.

Anguirus' eyes widened. "R-Rodan..."

"Yeah?"

"That's a mistletoe..."

"And?"

"Well..." Anguirus blushed. "Thing is...When two people walk under it...you have to..." He gulped, and muttered something.

"What?"

"You have to..." Again, no one could hear the rest.

"You have to _what?!_ "

"You have to kiss the person next to you, alright?!"

Now it was Rodan's turn to blush. "Oh sweet Libra..."

 **LE BARRIER ONCE MORE**

Battra sighed, lying on a mountain.

Which he didn't eat. That's just Mothra being annoying.

Sibling rivalry is magic, isn't it?

"Hey Battra!"

Oh Libra...

"What do you want?" Battra asked Mothra, glaring at the moth.

"Did you want to spend the-"

"No."

"Come on, Battra!" Mothra tried pulling Battra off the mountain. "It'll be fun! Almost every Kaiju will be celebrating! Well, aside from Ghidorah and his army, but otherwise..."

"Nope!"

"Please, Battra?" Mothra stopped trying to get him off the mountain. Instead, she used her worst weapon...to Battra, anyway...

The puppy-dog eyes.

"Oh Libra, why?" Battra groaned. "Mothra, we don't need to do it this way, I mean..." He sighed. "Fine! I'll go!"

"Yay!"

 **HOW MANY LE BARRIERS WILL THERE BE**

"So let me get this straight..." Battra stared at Mothra. "You have a son."

"Yeah!"

"And I'm technically your brother..."

"That you are..."

"So...I'm an uncle?" Battra's eyes widened.

"Yeah...Battra?"

"WOOHOO!" Battra flew off into the distance. He stopped by the Sisters...who were still attempting to shovel the snow.

"BELLE, LIZ, I'M AN UNCLE!" Battra had an "=D" face.

"We're aware of that, Battra- AGH!" Liz, while distracted, flung the snow at herself, knocking herself to the ground.

"But congrats anyway!" Belle waved to Battra as he flew away.

Battra then stopped by Godzilla.

"GODZILLA, I'M AN UNCLE!"

"Uh..." Godzilla stepped back. "Good for you?"

Then Battra stopped by Rodan.

"RODAN, I'M AN UNCLE!"

"How'd you get here?"

Then he stopped by Anguirus.

"ANGUIRUS, I'M-"

"GOTTA GO FEST!" Anguirus rolled away.

So Battra went to Ghidorah.

"GHIDORAH, I'M AN UNCLE!"

"I know, your nephew killed me."

Then Battra flew through a portal and stopped by Solomon and Red.

"SOLOMON, RED, I'M AN UNCLE!"

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE!" Solomon hid behind Red.

Battra then flew back to his own dimension.

 **TOO MANY LE BARRIERS**

" _Rockin' around the Christmas tree, have a happy holiday..._ " Leo sang, flying around the tree.

"So, you're that excited about being an uncle, huh?" Mothra chuckled.

"You bet!" Battra still had that "=D" face. "I mean, I never knew you actually had a son!"

"Neither did most of the guys here."

"WOO CHRISTMAS EVE!" Anguirus rolled in the room...right toward the Christmas tree.

"DENIED!" Leo knocked Anguirus back into the kitchen.

In the kitchen, Anguirus knocked into Rodan, tackling him to the ground.

"DUDE, WHAT THE HECK?!" Rodan pushed Anguirus off him. "WHERE'D YOU EVEN COME FROM?!"

"LEO KNOCKED ME IN HERE!"

"IT WAS NECESSARY!" Leo yelled.

 **SAVE ME FROM THE LE BARRIERS**

Leo awoke to strange voices coming from downstairs.

"Ugghhh..." He buried his face into his pillow. The voices continued.

"Oh, you gotta be kidding me..." Leo grumbled as he slowly flew downstairs...only to find Rodan and Anguirus. Wearing Santa hats.

"What the heck are you guys doing?!" Leo glared at the two.

"Just putting on the weirdest musical you've ever seen," Rodan smirked.

"At 3 AM?!" Leo picked up a random clock. " _3 AM?!_ "

"You bet!" The two then started singing.

" _Jingle Bells, Gigan smells_

 _Zilla laid an egg_ "

"Correction: He laid about 200," Leo grumbled. "The movie sucked, anyway, why are even talking about it?"

"You brought it up," Rodan shrugged.

"Darn this, I'm going to bed!"

 **GYAH LE BARRIER**

On Christmas Day, after all that opening stuff, Rodan was sitting on a rock at a shore, staring at the sunrise. This could take some getting used to, the "sun rising later than usual" thing. Along with that "kiss someone under the mistletoe" junk.

Because the day that pile of leaves made him kiss _Anguirus_ of all people was the craziest day of his whole life...

Though, it wasn't horrible...in fact, it wasn't even bad...

Was he-

NO.

SWEET LIBRA, NO. HE CAN'T BE.

...Well, as long as he didn't have to say it to-

"Hey, Rodan!"

Oh, gosh dang it.

"Hey, Anguirus," Rodan sighed as his friend laid beside him. "What are you doing out here?"

"Nothing really..." Anguirus shrugged. "I guess..."

"You guess?"

"Well...I...You see...I wanted to say...I've been meaning to tell you..."

"Just spit it out."

"Rodan..." Anguirus was blushing a lot heavier than when he explained the Mistletoe. "I..." _Just like that time with the mistletoe,_ no one could hear what he was saying.

"Not this again..." Rodan muttered under his breath. "You what?"

"I..." Seriously, _why was he so quiet_?!

"You what?"

" _OH FOR THE LOVE OF LIBRA, I like you, alright?!_ "

Rodan was silent for a moment...and then he chuckled.

"What's so funny?"

"Of course I like you too, we're friends!"

"No, not that 'like you'!" Anguirus glared at him. "I meant the other kind of 'like you'!"

"What do- Oh," Rodan's eyes widened. "OH..."

It was that kind of like.

The love kind of like.

Oh dear gosh.

Anguirus sighed. "I know. It's stupid...I just had to- What..." He stiffened as Rodan put a wing around him.

"Well...what I said earlier..."

"The 'oh' thing?"

"No, before that."

"Th-The thing about you liking me back?!"

"Pretty much."

"Sw-sweet Libra..." Anguirus grinned. "I...didn't think..."

"JUST KISS ALREADY!" Titanosaurus, who was a few feet away from them, yelled from his spot.

"Ugh..." Anguirus shook his head. "You know, I wonder what the readers will say about this."

"It'll be interesting to see," Rodan nodded. "Very interesting..."

 **YES THE LAST LE BARRIER**

"See you soon, Battra!" Mothra wrapped her wings around her brother.

"Er..." Battra put on an awkward smile. "Yeah, we'll definitely see each other soon."

When Battra left, Mothra turned around and stiffened. "Are...your hands together?"

"N-No!" Anguirus slowly moved away from Rodan. "You were seeing things!"

"Oh my gosh," Mothra giggled. "You two are together. I knew it. Right from the start."

"I was avoiding you guys at the start!" Rodan crossed his arms.

"Whatevs, I'm going to tell Belle and Liz!" Mothra flew out the door.

"Oh, DON'T YOU DARE!" Rodan flew after her.

"That'll be interesting," Anguirus sighed.

"A lot of things were interesting," Godzilla shook his head. "These Holidays are absolutely crazy..."

The End

 **A/N: And that's the Holiday Special!**

 **Aqua: I can only imagine the response that Rodan and Anguirus part is going to get...**

 **Summer: Maybe it won't be so bad.**

 **Maybe...Anyway, the next chapter actually won't take place on Monster Island. It'll focus on two certain Mutants. And it'll be something.**

 **Aqua: Anywho, please review!**

 **Solar: And no flaming! *Tail catches on fire* Just...WHY?!**

 **All: Merry Christmas! See ya! :D**


	3. EDF Training Video

Earth Defense Force Training Video

 **A/N: What's up, everybody?**

 **Aqua: So, like we said last time, we're going to write something involving two Mutants from Final Wars.**

 **Solar: Which for some reason isn't an AU.**

 **What the...? Of course it's an AU. We're bringing a dead character back to life for this oneshot.**

 **Aqua: This one-shot is a parody of the Krusty Krab Training Video from Spongebob Squarepants. I don't know which cat in here told Crystal it was a good idea, but they must have been so bored...**

 **REPLY TIME! In reply to GojiFan54: Thanks! :3**

 **Summer: In reply to Machine Dragon: Thank you! I didn't see the Anguirus and Rodan part coming either. I mean, sure, there were hints and all, but that scene...*Shudders* If the actual two read it...**

 **?: HEY.**

 **Oh God...**

 ***Rodan holds up the previous oneshot***

 **Rodan: Explain this.**

 **Uh...LOOK A GIGAN!**

 **Rodan: ...Really? -_-**

 **Uhh...SOLAR BACK ME UP HERE!**

 **Solar: Nah. .3.**

 **DANG IT!**

 **Aqua: Anyway, enjoy. o_o**

(Insert awesome montage here)

Hello there! If you're watching this, then let me be the first to say...

CONGRADULATIONS!

You've become a member of the Earth Defense Force, and this is your first day of training!

(Cut to Ozaki, grinning like an idiot)

Ozaki: Can I save the world now?!

Oh, no, you've got a lot to learn before you can become a member of the EDF! As you can see by this graph...

(A giraffe is chewing food)

Er, _graph_...

(There's a random graph, and the Gotengo moves upward)

You have become a member of one of the most successful forces! But it didn't get that way overnight...

(Kazama is in a random room, reading)

...Because some people don't train at 6:00!

(Kazama looks up from his book)

Kazama: Hey!

(Gordon is standing in front of a sunset)

No, the story of the EDF is a story of one human's hard work, perseverance, vision, determination, and sweat. But mostly, his sweat.

(The camera zooms in on Gordon's armpit, where sweat is staining through his suit)

 _FROM HUMBLE BEGINNINGS_

(Young Gordon is on a ship, with Godzilla walking towards the ship)

You may think that Captain Gordon, leader of the Earth Defense Force, has always been the amazing leader he was today.

(Gordon fires a missle at Godzilla, who then falls into a crack in the ice)

And you're right!

(Young Gordon is in his room, depressed)

After the war, Gordon was in a deep depression that looked endless.

(Outside somewhere, there are a lot of construction workers working on the Gotengo, with Gordon looking in the distance)

But then, his luck changed when he acquired a vacant ship that used to be a spaceship, and with a few minor alterations...

(The ship looks more advanced)

...The Gotengo was born!

(There's a black screen)

Sounds like a lot of...

?: Hoopla!

Sounds like a lot of...

?: Hoopla!

Sounds like a...

?: Hoopla!

(The camera turns to a light, with Anguirus under it)

Anguirus: Hoopla! Hoop-

(A brick is thrown at Anguirus' head, and he falls)

Sounds like a lot of Hoopla to be making over a team, right? Heh heh, WRONG.

 _THE EDF TODAY_

(Insert montage of every Godzilla character ever, except for Zilla because Zilla can go *quack* himself. *Insert raging people here* Kidding...Not kidding!)

To keep up with today's demanding citizens, no expense has been spared to require the latest achievements in modern technology.

(Gordon holds up a spatula)

Gordon: This here is an advanced food mechanism.

(He points to a large vault)

Gordon: Here, you can see our automated money system. Don't touch it!

(He holds up some melting ice cubes)

Gordon: These are high-quality beverage temperature devices, imported.

(He puts the ice cubes in a random drink and puts a straw in it)

Gordon: This is a liquid transfer machine- OH SWEET LIBRA!

(He drops the glass on the floor, while Godzilla facepalms in the background; Gordon holds up a Twilight book)

Gordon: And most importantly, you get your state-of-the-art literature!

(He points to a gift shop)

Gordon: Now, are you going to buy something or just stand there, because there's a standing fee.

(All of this "technology" surrounds Ozaki)

All of this modernization seems a little overwhelming, doesn't it?

(The items spin around Ozaki until he gets dizzy)

Well, luckily, Gordon's fear of robot overlords keeps the balance of technology in check!

(Ozaki is standing next to Kazama)

But if modernization is the heart of the EDF, then the soliders are the liver and gallbladder!

(Zoom in on Ozaki making an ":3" face)

Let's see if you've got what it takes. Hmm...poised, confident, and a smile that says "Hello world! May I be your protector?" You've got makings of a good EDF member, Mr. Ozaki! But for every good soldier, there is one who is not so good.

(The camera zooms out and turns to Kazama, reading Twilight)

Let's see...inattentive, impatient, a glazed look in his eyes. Look carefully at the "I Die At The End" button. There's a name for soldiers like these, but we'll just call him...Kazama.

(Kazama lowers his book, looking offended)

Kazama: I'm getting paid for this, right, Gordon?!

Gordon: Sorry! I can't hear you!

 _TRAINING_

Ozaki: Does this mean I get to save the world now?!

No, you can't be an EDF member without understanding the phrase POOP.

Ozaki: POOP?

Once you understand POOP, you'll understand your place in the EDF. But what is POOP?

Ozaki: It's was- (The rest of his sentence gets censored)

It's actually a carefully organized code. Watch closely. People...Overlook...Our...Protectors.

Ozaki: Oh, POOP!

Looks like Mr. Ozaki understands POOP.

(Then there's Miyuki walking up to the Gotengo)

Here's a typical human. I wonder how she's going to respond to the amazing leader Gordon greeting an ordinary being like her. Well, if we just remember POOP, we can figure it out.

Gordon: Hello, Miyuki.

Do you think she's going to...

A. Walk away

B. Fly away on a rainbow for some reason

or C. Say hello back.

Miyuki: (Smiles) Hello, Gordon.

Ah, POOP! You never let us down!

(Insert another stupid montage here)

Now that you understand POOP, I think you're ready to save the world.

Ozaki: SAVING THE WORLD!

(Ozaki runs at Godzilla, and a giant flyswatter hits him, turning him into a pile of mush)

Ha ha! Not so fast, Mr. Eager! We haven't talked about...

 _PERSONAL HYGEINE_

(Ozaki enters the men's bathroom and walks to a sink)

Every awesome and high-ranking soldier must comply with a strict set of hygiene guidelines. Okay, Mr. Ozaki, are you ready to prepare for wielding a...what the heck are those cool-looking guns even called?

(Ozaki turns on the sink and starts washing his hands)

A good soldier always washes himself thoroughly. Be sure to get under those fingernails.

(Ozaki nods and scrubs harder)

Don't forget about the wrists!

(Ozaki scrubs even harder)

And make sure those palms are squeaky clean!

(Ozaki scrubs as hard as possible)

Alright let's see those...

(Ozaki holds up his hands, which have completely disappeared after being washed so thoroughly)

Now, that's through! Heh heh. After making sure your nails are polished, your face is clear of any blemishes or boils...

(Ozaki sees a zit on his face and cuts it off with scissors)

...and your hair is neat and tidy...

(He uses a random spray can to make his hair stand up)

...you are ready to start the day! Now, let's see how Kazama prepares for his shift...

(In a bathroom, a stall doors opens and shows Kazama sleeping on the toilet; Kazama wakes up)

Kazama: What...? OH GOSH!

(Kazama closes the door)

Remember, no soldier wants to be a Kazama. Now that you're clean and hygenic, I bet you bet you're ready to be a soldier.

Ozaki: YEAH, I'M READY!

(Ozaki proceeds to keep splitting in two yelling "I'M READY!" until multiple flyswatters smack them all)

Whoa there! We still have a few more topics to go over.

 _YOUR ROOM_

It's important to keep your room tidy of droppings, but a clean room is only part of the job. To make that vision in your head a reality, you'll need supplies. And a good solidier always keeps his supplies well-organized.

(Ozaki goes to his drawer...thing...and opens a drawer to some neatly organized items)

Very nice, Mr. Ozaki! Not a thing out of place! Now, let's see how Kazama keeps his...er...Kazama?

(Ozaki looks out his window and sees Kazama sleeping on a pile of rubble)

Kazama: Huh?! OH LIBRA NO! I need to get in my room before the camermen see it!

Don't worry, Kazama. Mr. Ozaki will cover for you. Now that your room is up and running, perhaps you think you're ready to be a soldier.

Ozaki: *Running in circles* YEAH! I'M SO READY!

Ha ha, calm down.

(Anguirus is thrown into the scene, the two immediately get into a staring contest)

There's plenty of time left. We have to make sure you're ready for the psychological aspect of the job.

 _INTERFACING WITH YOUR LEADER_

Ozaki: Captain Gordon, can I go insult King Ghidorah?

Gordon: No.

Good job, Mr. Ozaki!

Ozaki: (Turns to camera) Can I save the world now-

(Rodan walking through the ruined city after Ghidorah is defeated)

Now we go behind the scenes to the front lines, where we'll examine most important aspect of the team, the species they're trying to destroy. Or, as we like to call them, the monsters.

Rodan: Who said that?!

Like the precious blood in an animal, these monsters are what keep the EDF strong and alive!

(Rodan flies to Kazama)

Rodan: Kazma, the sky's talking!

Kazama: So what? Do we need to call Ghostbusters or something?!

Rodan: I...uh...well...uhh...

Kazama: Rodan, go be stupid somewhere else!

Ah-ah-ah, Kazama, remember what Gordon says.

 _Gordon:_ _The monsters are always right!_

Rodan: The sky's right, Kazama, you're not being a very good soldier. (Crosses arms)

Kazama: (Sigh) Fine. What are we supposed to do?

Rodan: We...uuuuhhhh...

(Kazama facepalms)

We'll check on these two later. Right now, it's important that we discuss...

 _AN EMERGENCY SITUATION_

(Ozaki is standing by the Gotengo)

Like the gold below the X, the Gotengo is considered a treasure. And with every treasure, there's a thief who wants to steal. So it's up to you to keep a close eye on...

(The Gotengo starts moving rather slowly)

What's this?

(Ghidorah is using some kind of magic to move the Gotengo)

It's the most evil monster in existence, King Ghidorah!

Ghidorah: Eat my magical dust, Godzilla! Soon I will use the Gotengo's power to defeat you!

(Ozaki looks as the scene in shock)

He's stealing the Gotengo! What are you going to do, Mr. Ozaki?

(Ozaki screams and runs around, Godzilla casually walks into the scene)

Ghidorah: You'll never stop me, Godzilla! Not after I steal this ship!

(Godzilla says nothing, Ozaki is still running around screaming)

Ghidorah: Ha! You know you can't stop me, that's why-

(Godzilla Heat Beams Ghidorah back to Monster Island)

Ghidorah: I knew I should have just grabbed it...!

And so, another emergency is solved thanks to Mr. Ozaki! Now, let's check on Kazama and Rodan.

(Back with the two, Rodan is still saying "Uuuhhh..." and Kazama's left eye is twitching)

Psst, Kazama.

Kazama: Huh?

Just remember: POOP.

Kazama: Rodan, if I could make a suggestion, perhaps you should fly up and investigate.

Rodan: Great idea, Kazama!

Kazama: Alright, so, should I record it? (Covers mouth)

Rodan: Uuuuhhhh...

(Kazama repeatedly bangs his head on a broken building)

Hang in there, Kazama, it's all part of the job. Now that you've learned the basics of your training, it's time for the moment you've been waiting for!

(The Gotengo appears on a blue screen)

Saving the world!

(Ozaki is bowing down to a poster of the Gotengo)

At the center of every great dynasty is the crown jewel, which keeps it alive and running. For the EDF, that is saving things. And now you, a humble Mutant, the all-too-neccasary resource that keeps this force afloat, will learn the sacred and dark secrets of saving this crazy world! Are you ready?

(Ozaki nods)

Are you sure?!

(Ozaki nods so hard his head tears in half)

Okay! In order to save the world, you must-!

The End

 **A/N: And that's the parody!**

 **Aqua: It's okay. Not insane or random, I'll give it credit for that.**

 **Summer: Mom, you're boring.**

 **Aqua: Well, sometimes sane things are cool!**

 **Solar: I dunno, Summer has a point.**

 **Winter: AHEM.**

 **Aqua, Solar, and Summer: What?**

 **(Sigh) Anyway...Next oneshot will be sad.**

 **Winter: AT LAST!**

 **Summer: Really? -_-**

 **Winter: I know, I have an obsession with sad stuff.**

 **Hey, so do I.**

 **Winter: You do?**

 **No. But it's cool to read.**

 **Aqua: *Facepaw* Anyway, please review.**

 **Solar: And no flaming. *Tail catches on fire* *Eyes twitches***

 **All: See ya!**


	4. Advice (NES)

Advice

 **A/N: Hey, everybody!**

 **Aqua: Happy Valentines Day!**

 **Solar: It was a truly** _ **lovely**_ **holiday. *Smirks***

 **Summer: Dad…after this…you are** _ **so**_ **de—**

 **REPLY TIME!**

 **Aqua: In reply to Gojifan54: Like I said, who thought this was a good idea?!**

 **In reply to Machine Dragon Nero: Thanks! :3**

 **Solar: Yep, we're a family! Well, Winter's a friend, but…**

 **Winter: Ever since I joined this writing thing, I've been considered family…**

 **And about the sad thing…heh…it's Valentines Day, sooo…**

 **Rodan: NO. NOT AGAIN. DON'T.**

 **Calm down, I'm not shipping you with Anguirus again. -_-**

 **Rodan: Thank goodne—**

 **Yet…**

 **Rodan: *Flips desk***

 **This is in the NES Universe. So you're not here.**

 **Winter: Aww… 3:**

 **In reply to Guest: Thank you! :3**

 **Aqua: (Under breath) Hopefully this idea will be better than the last one…**

 **Anyway…**

 **All: Enjoy!**

"Anguirus, I need your help!"

Anguirus looked up at the moth and smiled. "What's up, Mothra?"

"The sky, and me," Mothra said, flying down. "Now, I need to ask you something!"

"First off, that's not what I meant." Anguirus rolled his eyes. "And second, what?"

"Okay," Mothra sighed. "Have you…ever felt…a certain way towards someone?"

"As in…?"

"Like... more than just a friend?"

Anguirus blinked. "So…a crush?"

"Yeah, sort of like that." Mothra nodded.

"In that case, I have. But…" Anguirus looked down. "That monster's…not around…alive, but…not here…"

"Oh…"

Anguirus looked back up. "So, why are you asking me this?"

"Okay…" Mothra blushed. "So, assume this monster was around…what would you have done?"

Anguirus said nothing, before grinning. "I get it, you like someone, don't you?"

"W-Well, I was just asking, I…"

"It would have taken a while, but…I would have told that monster how I felt sooner or later."

"I…see."

Anguirus smirked. "Okay, who is it?"

"Wh-what?!" Mothra's eyes widened.

"Who's the monster you like?"

"C-Come on, Anguirus! What makes you think I… _like_ someone?!"

"You're blushing."

"And?"

"You came to me asking for advice on crushes of all things."

"And?!"

"And I think I know who you have an eye on."

Mothra scoffed. "Who?"

"Solomon."

Mothra stiffened. " _What_?! _Anguirus, there's NO WAY_ —"

"Please," Anguirus said. "Every time you're around him, you stutter, you blush…It's crazy he doesn't notice."

"I…ugh!" Mothra was blushing heavily now. "Fine! I like him! But what the heck do I do?!"

"Tell him." Anguirus shrugged. "It's simple as that."

Mothra looked away. "How do I know he…?"

"You'll have to see."

Mothra slowly nodded. "R-Right…thanks, Anguirus."

"No problem."

* * *

"Okay," Mothra said to herself. "What should I say? _'Hi Solomon, I have something to say. I've liked you for a bit now…'_ " She shook her head. "Agh, no! Um… _'Hey, Solomon, I've had an eye on you for_ days _.'_ THAT'S JUST CREEPY!"

She leaned against a tree. "Why do I bother? He probably doesn't even like me, anyway…He's a monster from a whole other world, and I'm a Goddess, for crying out loud!" She sighed. "What's the point?"

"What's the point of what?"

Mothra yelped and looked up. Solomon was in the tree.

"S-Solomon?!" She blushed for the third time today. "How long were you there?"

"Just got here." Solomon jumped out of the tree. "What the heck were you talking about?"

"I…" Mothra started trembling. "Solomon, I…"

"You what?"

"I…" Mothra's eyes began to water. "I…have to be honest, don't I?"

"Liars never get anywhere."

"Solomon…I…I like you…"

No one said anything for a moment.

"Well…" Solomon broke the silence. "We… _are_ friends."

"No," Mothra shook her head. "Solomon, I meant _that_ kind of like."

"…Oh."

Mothra looked down. _I screwed up. I screwed up so bad. He hates me now. I just know it. What was I thinking?! I'm an absolute idiot, I just want to—_

She gasped as she felt an arm around her. She looked up and saw Solomon…was he smiling?!

"I should be honest too," He said. "I…also…"

Two monsters laughing made the two turn around. They saw Gigan and Biollante behind a bush, unable to control their laughter.

"That…oh my gosh…I knew that was going to happen!" Gigan managed to say. "From the very beginning, I knew it!"

Solomon glared at the duo. "Seriously?"

"Hey, we were just spying," Biollante chuckled. "It's not like we were—"

"GET OUT OF HERE!"

The two monsters scurried away.

Solomon sighed. "As I was saying…" He turned to Mothra. "I…"

Mothra wrapped her wings around the monster. "I think I know what you're about to say."

Solomon wrapped his own wings around her. "You know a lot of things, don't you?"

"I guess," Mothra giggled. "But…do you know what nine plus ten is?"

Solomon stared at the moth. "Mothra…I have nothing to say. And I am most certainly _not_ going to answer that question."

The End

 **A/N: *Throws arms in the air* THE SPECIAL IS COMPLETE!**

 **Rodan: Hey, you said we weren't going to be shipped in this.**

 **You weren't.**

 **Rodan: That monster Anguirus mentioned is me, I just know it.**

 **Uh…LOOK A—**

 **Rodan: Save it.**

…

 **Aqua: …Anyway, I don't know who thought that shipping was a good idea, but…**

 **Solar: Come on, Aqua!**

 **Summer: I'm going to go crazy here…**

 **Winter: Anyway, please review!**

 **Solar: And no flaming! *Tail catches on fire* WHAT IN THE NAME OF VALENTINES—**

 **All: See ya! :D**


End file.
